Murrieta, CA - July 10, 2008 - Redux Beverages, the
makers of Cocaine Energy Supplement and Brawndo: The Thirst Mutilator announced
today that they are planning a new look for Cocaine. Although Redux had been planning to update
the look and feel of its flagship product some time before 2009, a recent
letter from the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) prompted the company to
introduce those changes by the end of July instead.
The majority of the objections raised in the FDA letter
concerned the chalky-looking fonts used to spell out the name of the product
and some of its ingredients. The names
of the two fonts in question are "Squeaky Chalk Sound" and
"Boring Lesson," both licensed by Redux from German font design firm Anke-Art (www.anke-art.de). On the Anke-Art website, the fonts' designer explained that Squeaky Chalk
Sound was created because he "needed a chalk font" and that Boring
Lesson came about because "[t]here were quite a lot boring lessons at the
University. So I played around with my fountain pen and ink eraser."
The FDA found a much more sinister lesson in Anke-Art's
font, suggesting that it "appear[s] to be cocaine powder ... that has been
'cut' by an object (presumably a credit card or razor blade) to form
letters."
Redux Beverages says that "School teachers
everywhere should now be on notice that things written in chalk will be
scrutinized more closely by the federal government and could subject the
chalk-bearer to civil and criminal liability.
No word from the government on whether a chalk ban is next, but school
districts across the nation would be well-advised to consider a shift to
dry-erase boards. But please, for
goodness sake, do NOT sniff those markers!"
"This is just a case of runaway regulators running
roughshod over free speech and the free market," said Jamey Kirby, founder
of Redux Beverages. "In the last
year or so, the U.S. has experienced life-threatening problems with our
domestic supply of tomatoes, spinach, peanut butter, imported seafood and even
pet food. Worse, many experts predict
that the next terrorist attack could focus on our food supply. So, why is the FDA wasting its precious
resources complaining about what fonts Redux is using to advertise our
product?"
"If there is any justice," Kirby continued,
"our struggles with the FDA will become a rallying cry against the
wasteful practices and upside-down priorities of the federal government. And it's not like these guys are elected or
accountable in any way. Hey, I know it's
an election year, but how, exactly, do we vote these regulators out of
office?"
As part of its new branding campaign, Redux will also
replace the word "cut" in its marketing material with
"mild" to signify the milder version of the product that has less of
a spicy kick. So, Cut Cocaine will soon
be sold as Cocaine Mild and might even be packaged in a different-colored
can. In its letter, the FDA made it
clear that such a change was important because the word "cut"
constitutes "well-known terminology associated with and suggestive of
illicit drug use."
Similarly, Redux may begin advising customers not to use
a straw to drink Cocaine, or a dollar bill to pay for it, because both of those
actions could be misinterpreted by the FDA as use of illicit drug
paraphernalia.
The FDA letter opined that the overall marketing and
labeling of the product - including the name of the product, the chalky fonts,
and the use of the word "cut" - violates FDA regulations because they
demonstrate that Redux is trying to market its product as a replacement for an
illicit street drug. The FDA was
apparently unimpressed with the explicit statement to the contrary found on
each can of the product: "This product is not intended to be anything more
than an energy drink."
In an attempt to be even more explicit, Redux will soon
introduce cans of Cocaine that instruct consumers as follows: "This
product is not intended to be an alternative to an illicit street drug, and
anyone who thinks otherwise is an idiot, a government regulator, or both."
"Let's be clear: the FDA has never claimed that our
product contains anything harmful," said Clegg Ivey, general counsel for
Redux.
"Moreover, it's not even the FDA's position that the
name itself is illegal. I asked them
straight up if it's just about the name, but they replied that no, the legality
of the product depends on whether, given the totality of the product's
marketing, Redux is intending to market it as an alternative to an illicit
street drug. Well, of course we're not
marketing our product as an alternative to the illicit street drug, and it's
just silly to suggest otherwise."
"Despite the fact that we find the FDA claims to be
ridiculous," Ivey continued, "we have worked hard to address their
concerns. Last year, it was our slogan
(we got rid of it) and this year it's the fonts (we'll change them). The most expedient way to deal with their
issues is to change the aspects of our marketing that enable them to
mischaracterize our intentions - except for the name, of course, which the
First Amendment gives us the right to keep and which they will have to pry from
our cold, dead hands."
Redux plans to introduce the new and improved look for
Cocaine by the end of July. Marketing
changes will include chalkless fonts, even cheekier warning labels, and fewer
words and phrases that are liable to quicken the pulses of federal regulators.
About Redux Beverages LLC
Redux Beverages LLC, founded in 2006, manufactures
Cocaine, one of the three most- talked about energy products on the market. In
the months after its release, Cocaine became the fastest selling product in the
history of the industry. In 2007, Redux
introduced its second product, Brawndo: The Thirst Mutilator. Some may recognize Brawndo as the fictional
energy drink from the cult-hit comedy, "Idiocracy,"
written by Mike Judge, who also created the classic
movie, "Office Space" as well as the hit animated tv shows
"Beavis & Butthead" and "King of the Hill." Redux plans
to announce its next product line, which promises to be as every bit as edgy
and innovative as Cocaine and Brawndo, by the end of 2008. For more information visit www.drinkredux.com.
